At last….

Its been more than a month since I last posted. I am sorry for the delay.
It was not that I don’t have things to write in contrary my mind was full of them,but my fifth semester exams don’t allow me the luxury to blog.
But today my dear every thing is changed. I am sitting In my couch all my theory and practicals finished.
I don’t know whether to cry or laugh . exams have paradoxical effect on your brain system. it forces you to stretch your limits,it challenges you to mug up all those medical jargon you were unable to rot in past three months to do so in three days.
I have a habit of envisaging the end in beginning of a journey. I always imagine the happiness of exempt from studies even weeks before starting of exams.it helps me to keep on going,to study for an extra hour,to wake an hour before,to burn the night lamp.
Though exams are pain in the ass but like every bad thing in life its also an essential ingredient for success. Or its not,its just plain pain not only in ass but every single tissue of body.it stretches your brain like a rubber band and as exam are over it shrunk back to its place.it become a business of holding back a great load of shit and then to vomit it all over in papers. Sometimes it happen that I don’t even know what questions I have attended and what I have written in them!
But Let’s not get all narcissistic it does have some benefit. The after exam feeling is not what you see every day.
I have never smoked or taken pot but I can still tell the elation when you feel ,as you were answering the last question ,of last practical is above any drug the god has created under the blue sky.
The post exam happiness disorder ,have long term effects. It shape your party plans for weeks in advance. It like a burst of rancid smell which makes you appreciate the lousy smell of everyday life.
Most importantly if I don’t give fifth semester exam how would I enter in sixth semester?
Ps:I know last line is too normal but thoughts like that only keep you hopeful.

anger then despair

anger,much thing has been said about it.it seems as if the human is nothing but a seething pan of anger,sometimes contain in its pot but when it overflows and in my case it frequently does,it splash everywhere and corrode not only the person in question but me too,and i lay there for hours filling the holes.

it so much easy to be angry,to smash somebody skull,to say things and do things your sane mind normally refrains from,put a lot of resistance to these thoughts but anger takes it all away.your resistance reduce to a simple wire and your usual mind to mouth filter become next to zero.your brillant mind started thinking imaginative ways to make his life hell.

that beautiful superlative anger vanishes.it left me just as fast as it comes.it abandon me in my those few seconds of whether i should say sorry or give one last evil look and move on.
to solve this critical problem what left is my reason self which in my few minutes of tirade had gone on vaccation.he reflects what best strategy.sometimes its easy to say sorry when you know you overreacted and what you thought had happen and what really had happen do mot fall in same line,but it become excrutiatingly difficult when you know you are not wrong you are right and the guy is a total asshole inconsiderate person.

so if the scenario is first i say sorry amidst much embarrsement.but if its case second and i had to say sorry (cause i eventually figure it some way has to be my fault )and after it much gloom and despair shroud me and for many hours i curse myself to be such a boiling pot!!

just saying

we all like a good gossip.there is nothing better then to curl up and bitch about one frenemy to another.itfeel like the sun especially save some sunlight for you.there is spring in your step and you can literally feel that every god particle is happy for you and is rejoicing that she had a breakup or receive less marks in test.i dunno about you but every pore of my body open up and is welcoming the news.though you might just have a differing in opinion,or she defeated in debate in remote past.it doesn’t matter once a girl is black marked she always remain in back of your list in your parties.

so one such juicy news hit my ears in early morning and whole day i supported a cheshire cat smile.somebody would have thought i have become pregnant!!.lets be honest with you i am not a good samaritan and is good to people who are good to me.my rules are simple you paint my nails and i will paint yours.you smear it on edges then be sure its going to be there and i ain’t applying paint remover on it.a mark is made and lord does it take years to smudge it a bit.

so while i was happy and smiling i fall upon this girl i have black marked years ago i have forgotten what the case was but i remain cold from then.we said pleasantry with grudging nods and curt replies but i notice something is amiss she was not her bitchy self.i dont know what posses me but i invite her for a cup of coffee for old time sakes and she surprisingly accepted without her usual high and mighty look she is famous for.while drinking coffee she fell in front of me i have never seen caffein doing this to people i am just glad i havent offer a drink i met never come in one piece.so what follow was the usual story of fail marriage,children who hate her and work which did not appreciat her.while this news ib any other day in any other setting would have made my day but seeing her infront of me breaking down like a house of cards wasnt funny and not at entertaing just a whole lot disconcerting.we part in good term with promise to keep in touch.so moral being:never hear someone sad story from thier own mouth it just take away the joy!

omnis cellulae e cellulae

you state it to a biology student and with utmost irritation they will tell you what it means: every cell is derived from precursor cell.(uhh big deal)

ask the meaning of same to a philosphy student he will emphasis with utmost seriousness the gravity of statement.”the humans act on it “he will say.

is human race with its varied dilects and maryiad of culture not act on love,honesty,trust,peace?you will ask.i urge you to think beyond what it imply.lets start superfiscially it simply say a cell derive from a earlier one.now magnify it:we derive from our ancestors.we all with millions of cell and thousand of gene is in a period of time was a single cell.it divide divide and divide and poof we become our adult self and the moment it stop poof we are old and stooped.
now lets dig a bit deeper and think about gossiping yes you hear me gossyping.it the perfect example.the talk always go round and round and just everyone know about it.(including the person bieng the matter of gossip)it become a circle of exchanging information.you tell me something and i will add more. infotmation exchanges minds ,die on some while revive on others and continue the vicious cycle of gossip
lets complicate the matter.we all agree that any big science discovery takes years and years of compilation of data and checking rechecking of facts.its impossible for one persons to do everything.so what we have are a group of individual who put thier mind together and let thier ideas grow on each other.from one idea generate another then another and in years we see it alive.

world is not function wholly on gossips or scientific discovery it needs diplomacy to keep clicking,kindness to keep ticking,and laws to keeep working.
how in those diverese spheres does this adage act?
the answer lie in our will to survive.we are animals under our branded clothes.we do anything to survive another day.and evolution if at all has teaches us one thing the power of unity.for unity we need people having comnon goals and is ready to cooperate each other.so what will make a total stranger cooperate with you?his principles(pls),his desire(i have thousand)so what?its simple we work on what i will gain basis.what my doing now will help me in future.that is what now i sow will definitely decide what i reap .the better the reap the more the cooperation.parents wants children so that they have company in thier old times obviously love preceds.in a survey it was proved that we are likely to perform an act of kindness if we are in recieving end of it.so make omnis cellulae e cellulae your t shirt motto.anf tell people why.

again a day in mortuary

i meet a lot of people in my day.they keep quiet,all of them.i spend hours with them and in end know almost all except them as a living human.i can see thier laughing lines,but never know thier jokes.i could feel thier gaze but never the warmth in them.i can see ,feel, touch thier heart but it never beats it could not give life.i see it all the hair,mouth,lips,skin.i observe the color ,texture,staining and rigor.
i see the finity of life each day.i handle the body which in its lifetime was handle by people who  fed him,taken care of him,ward him off evil,protect him from dangers and loved him.what for ?i always thought while dissecting the body.all the pain for this!we all know the inevitablity of life but i study it spent years gaining knowledge all that for when a grieved mother ask me why he died ?why god take him earlier then me ?i can give her a cause but the cause cannot bring her boy back ,it certainly cannot cure the haemoohage in his head.he cannot ever would grow for a single day.all my knowledge for this .to tell what happen in my medical jargon knowing preety well that knowbody give a damn why it happen for them the greatest truth staring them on thier face is it had happened.he is gone.