Tag Archives: breakup

Move on

I was so into continue talking to him that i again activate my social media account i have uninstalled for months. I spend hours yesterday thinking about me and where i am going.
Today There is an resentment growing in me. Like a cold anger devulging me. I am feeling a strange anger, I don’t know why it is here ,it seems to just reside and spoil everything I take part in.  It feels like real me the narcisstic, cynic and egoist me.

seems as the love struck puppy me was someone stupid, someone who believe in movies or have  read too much novels. But it just didn’t happen. I don’t feel serene I feel twisted. Like everything I was doing in past week was sort of a facade . a false wall I thought I can make a future of. But it fall pretty fast ,like it was just bidding its time till my mind send a wave and pull it down.  I just don’t belong for long. I had my play ,I had my time ,now it’s time to move on. There is so much to do i can’t just wait every time for his text to come. I hate waiting ,its like non negotiable to me. I like result and I like it fast .
I think being with him I was trying too hard. Too over the top. To feel desirable, important I pull myself low. I think I betrayed myself in ways I promise myself I would not do. Making someone irreplaceable is the biggest mistake one can do. Giving away yourself, your identity for being with someone is to punish yourself. The reality feel heavy and black like coming out of deep sleep. Better to see it first and stop myself before it is too late and I again find myself comforting in my tears.

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Break away

Its OK if I stand alone cause I am always lone
Its OK if you don’t ask cause I am just an outcast
Its OK if you don’t look me in the eye
Its OK if you say the most hurtful things with smile
Its OK if I weep and you don’t see as you don’t look me in the eye
Its OK if I storm out of the room and you will still smile.

Its not OK if you come back to me with bruises
Its not OK if you cry and fight in front of me
Its not OK if you expect me to stich
Its not OK if you want to kiss away your tears
Its not OK if you make me more hollow to make yourself less shallow